We all put our best foot forward, when it comes to presenting ourselves to prospective intimate partners. We put a positive spin on the greater majority of our personality traits and our personal history. When we like another human being, we, invariably, want them to like us in return.  At some point in time, we may, even, decide to ask them to marry us. What happens, then, when we go to the altar with some creative interpretations of our past behaviour in place. Or, when sins of omission are staring us in the face.

Skeletons in the Closet: To Tell or Not to Tell

Marriage is supposed to be all about honesty and integrity within a personal relationship. How can one build a family based on foundations holed with untruths and dishonesty? Those skeletons in the closet may come back one day to haunt us at the most inappropriate time. There is no coming back from a lifetime built on lies. Betrayal is all the more bitterly felt, when a lover knows that he or she has been deliberately misled. It may be a very good idea to suggest a pre-ceremony tell all session with your prospective bride or groom to be. Secrets can sink, even, buoyant ships.

Weddings are days of lace and gauze, flowers, princes and princesses, fairy tale stuff that sits outside of ordinary reality. The only way that a marriage will actually endure, is if that froth and fluff, that romantic Vaseline lens inspired version of the truth, is anchored by warts and all confessionals by both parties. If you cannot tell your beloved the truth about yesterday, it is likely that you will have the same trouble with tomorrow’s truths.

Weddings are more a woman’s special day, marked on their lifetime calendars with bold ink. They will need these memories of a very special day to help them through the birthing and child rearing challenges that lie ahead. Don’t allow the wedding to be an illusory affair constructed upon a fiction, in terms of who you both really are. The fantasies are all too prevalent in intimate relationships as it is, without skeletons rattling in that closet. Perhaps wardrobes are safer, when it comes to considering bedroom storage facilities? What lies in the past may not be alive in your life right now, but are you sure those ghosts are not liable to linger in the corners of your psyche?